THIS CAT IS ASKING TO BE PETTED IT IS ACTUALLY ASKING THIS IS THE MOST POLITE CAT IN THE WORLD AND IT’S GOING TO KILL ME

(via erinnightwalker)

referenceforwriters:

euclase:

I had a disturbing exchange with a high school-aged person today that prompted this…

• Beer, wine, mead, and cider are fermented beverages.
• Mead is made from honey.
• Cider is made from apples.
• Beer is made from grains.

• Beer tastes like beer because they flavor it with hops.
• They used to flavor beer with dandelions.
• Ain’t that cute?

• All beer is either ale or lager.
• Ale is fermented at room temperature.
• Lager is brewed and store cold.
• Barleywine, bitter, porter, and stout are ales.
• Pilsner and bock are lagers.
• Most of the crap people drink in America is pale lager.
• Mosft of the crap people drink in Ireland is dry stout.

• Butterbeer isn’t real.
• (Except actually I think it is, and I heard it tastes like cream soda)
• Miruvor isn’t real, either, but it probably would taste like squash.
• Ent-draught isn’t real, either, but shit, it would be awesome if it were.

• Wine is made from fermented fruit juice, usually grapes.
• Red wine is made from red grapes.
• White wine is made from green grapes.
• The name of the grape is the name of the wine (Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Cabernet Sauvignon, and Merlot are all varieties of grape)
• Unless you live in France.
• In which case, the name of the place supersedes the name of the grape.
• (for example: Burgundies are made in Burgundy, France, but Burgundy wine can be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay)
• Champagne is any sparkling white wine.
• However, Champagne can also be wine that comes from Champagne, France.
• Drink red wine with beef. Drink white wine with fish.
• Act like it tastes good. 
• Keep a Diet Coke in your bag for later.
• You’ll be fine.

• Brandy is distilled wine.
• Cognac is brandy aged in oak barrels.
• Don’t fuck around with the French about their cognac.

• Fortified wine is wine with added alcohol.
• Sherry is fortified white wine made in Spain.
• Port is fortified red wine made in Portugal.
• Vermouth is fortified white wine plus grape spirits.
• Sweet vermouth has added sugar.
• Dry vermouth has added spices like nutmeg.

• Liquors are distilled spirits that contain ethanol.
• Liqueurs are liquors that have sugar and flavors added.
• Liquors can be made from grains, fruits, or vegetables.

• Grain alcohol is liquor made from grains. Duh.
• Gin, Vodka, and Whisky are grain alcohols.
• Vodka is grain alcohol and water.
• Be careful with vodka. Homemade vodka is poisonous.
• Gin is (basically vodka) flavored with juniper berries.
• Absinthe is (basically gin) flavored with anise.
• Whisky is grain alcohol aged in wood barrels.
• Malt whisky is made from barley.
• Grain whisky is made from all the other grains.
• Scotch is whisky made in Scotland.
• Bourbon is Kentucky whisky mostly made from corn.
• Don’t fuck around with the Scottish.
• Don’t fuck around with people from Kentucky, either.

• Tequila is liquor made from the blue agave plant.
• Rum is liquor made from sugarcane.
• Schnapps is liquor made from fruit “must” (smashed fruit that still contains seeds and skins).
• American schnapps is grain alcohol mixed with fruit flavors and sugar syrup.
• Drink apple schnapps only while playing Tekken 2.

• Sake is rice wine that’s brewed like beer. Or something.

• Avoid these cocktails: Grog, Long Island Iced Tea, Manhattan, Dark and Stormy, Jack and Coke, Piña Colada, Scorpion. They contain huge amounts of alcohol and/or a huge number of calories. That Long Island Ice Tea is the worst motherfucker of the bunch. Just avoid them. Have a lemon drop martini instead.

• Don’t drink on an empty stomach or you’ll puke.
• Don’t drink too fast or you’ll puke.
• Avoid Long Island Iced Teas. Like I said.
• Don’t drink and drive because you might kill my Mom. You fuckers.
• If your friend has had too much to drink and needs to crash, make sure she’s lying on her side so she doesn’t choke on her own vomit. 
• Don’t leave a drunk friend alone.
• Passing out is a sign of being severely goddamn sick. If someone drinks and passes out? They are dying right now. Call 9-1-1. 
• If you are drunk, don’t drink coffee or caffeine to get sober. Sip cold water and nibble some saltine crackers.
• Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t smash my mailbox.
•  Now you know some stuff. Maybe.

♥

(via erinnightwalker)

browsethestacks:

Bloody Cleaver Clutch Purse

(via erinnightwalker)

odditiesoflife:

The Colorful Island of Burano, Italy

The island of Burano, a 40 minute boat ride from Venice, is a beautiful place with an equally colorful history. Burano is an old fishing village, and the fishing traditions of Burano date back to Roman times. Fishing is not the only source of income for Burano. The art of lace making has played a large role in Burano’s history.

Legend has it that a betrothed fisherman out at sea was given a wedding veil by a siren, and when he gave it to his betrothed; everyone tried to replicate it with needlework. Burano lace became famous. King Louis XIV was said to be wearing a Burano lace collar for his coronation and Leonardo Da Vinci purchased a piece for the main altar of the Duomo di Milano.

But what makes Burano different from the rest of the surrounding islands, is its rainbow of houses. Though these houses are beautifully painted and look like artwork, the reason for their vivid colors is quite practical. Years ago, the fishermen painted their houses bright colors so when they were coming home in the fog, they knew whose house was whose. That said, the colors of these houses have been in families for centuries. And, if you want to change the color of your house, you have to send in a request to the government.

(via erinnightwalker)

karkaliciousbitch:

little-lunar:

stealingfirefromprometheus:

Can I just reblog this again because this is beautiful.

ow ow ow owowow

(via erinnightwalker)

In this mysteriously leaked DVD commentary for Season 4 of “Game Of Thrones,” author George R.R. Martin drops some MASSIVE plot bombshells. You’ve been warned. [x]

(via erinnightwalker)

lelestrudel:

sallyfuckingdonovan:

lelestrudel:

sallyfuckingdonovan:

Omfg all these articles talk about holding his head down gently to display dominance and it seems so mean Oh god

Hell no. While I’m okay with dominance being shown in the bedroom, holding my head down while I’m giving a blowjob (without my permission) is the #2 way to piss me off. Like, I don’t even care, I will stop, mid-suck.

I’M TALKING ABOUT MY RABBIT

I may have misinterpreted.

(via erinnightwalker)

-andrews:

REMEMBER WHEN SOMEONE EDITED THE STAR TREK AUDIOBOOK TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE ZACHARY QUINTO WAS NARRATING KIRK/SPOCK PORN

(via gwenstacy)

detectingavengers:

a-cumberbatch-of-cookies:

thoroughly-hawkward:

keepcalmandthunderfrost:

dettsu:

izzytheeverything:

flagdemoness:

forevahyoung-ness:

eheheheh-lokid:

doctordonna10:

what-theface:

“All the single heroes…”

ALL THE SINGLE HEROES

ALL THE SINGLE HEROS

NOW PUT YOUR SHIELD UP!

UP IN NEW YORK

JUST THAWED OUT

DOIN’ AN AVENGERS THING

THEY TALKED ME UP

LOKI SUCKS

AND COULSON IS OBSESSED WITH ME

All the single heroes, all the single heroes
All the single heroes, all the single heroes
All the single heroes, all the single heroes
All the single heroes

Now put your shield up!

Up in New York
Just thawed out
Doin’ an Avengers thing

They talked me up
Loki sucks
And Coulson is obsessed with me

He up on me, he up on me
Don’t pay him any attention
I’m with Tony Stark, Thor, and Hulk
Out doing this avenging biz

If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
He’ll be mad and summon his chitauri army then
But if he took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh

If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
He’ll be mad and summon his chitauri army then
But if he took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh

I got Barton in the sky
Romanov the spy
And Hulk smashing, ripping jets in the air

Stark flies by
I’m on stand by
Thor brings the lightning and the thunder

If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
He’ll be mad and summon his chitauri army then
But if he took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh

If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
We’ll close the portal, that he opened, with his scepter then
Thor will take him back to Asgard as a prisoner

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh

We won’t treat him to the things of this world
Justice has been served
Freedom’s what I prefer, what I deserve

Here’s the man that breaks it, then takes it
So we deliver him to his destiny, to the 9 realms and beyond
Oh, Laufeyson

Now you’re really done
In the void, you’ll be alone
And like a ghost, you’ll be gone

All the single heroes, all the single heroes
All the single heroes, all the single heroes
All the single heroes, all the single heroes
All the single heroes

Now put your shield up!

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh

If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
If Loki took it, then we’ll go and take it back from him
We’ll close the portal, that he opened, with his scepter then
Thor will take him back to Asgard as a prisoner

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh

Loki’s gone now so, we can do the shit we want
I’ll try to visit Peggy in her retirement home
Clint and Nat are going out and Coulson’s still alive
Bruce and Tony’s doing science and Fury’s on vacay

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh

THE AVENGERS FANDOM EVERYONE, I CAN’T.

^^^^^^
AN ENTIRE SONG

I HAVE ACTUAL TEARS IN MY EYES YOU GUYS 

OMG IT’S BACK!!

(via empatheticdalek)

balphesian:

mcgooglykins:

#WHAT IF THIS IS THE CONSEQUENCE OF LETTING CHEKOV HAVE COFFEE  #HE JUST BOUNCES ALL OVER THE BRIDGE  #SPOCK MERELY RAISES AN EYEBROW  MAKES A MENTAL NOTE TO ADJUST SETTINGS ON THE SHIP’S REPLICATORS SO THAT THEY AUTOMATICALLY DISPENSE DECAF WHEN RECOGNIZING CHEKOV’S VOICE  #BUT CHEKOV MAKES PUPPY FACES AT SULU SO THAT SULU ALWAYS ENDS UP ORDERING IT FOR HIM  #KIRK THINKS IT’S FUNNY AND JUST WATCHES ON FONDLY  #HE LETS CHEKOV BOUNCE ALL AROUND HIS CHAIR AND MAKES REFERENCES TO TIGGER THAT ARE COMPLETELY LOST ON SPOCK  #SPOCK IS TOTALLY NOT HAVING ANY MORE CHILDREN WITH KIRK

#THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT ENSIGNS #IS ENSIGNS ARE WONDERFUL THINGS #THEIR TOPS ARE MADE OUT OF CURLS #AND THEIR BOTTOMS ARE MADE OUT OF SPRINGS #THEY’RE BOUNCY SPACEY FLOUNCY RUSSIAN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN #AND THE MOST WONDERFUL THING ABOUT ENSIGNS IS #ZEY CAN DO ZAT KEPTIN!

(via david-tennants-sexual-ass)

cumber-porn:

g0ne-blotto:

paintingtherosesredd:

you just gotta love this guy

if you dont love rdj there is something very wrong with you

omg! I can’t take my eyes off that butt!

iamjacks-completelack-ofsurprise:

Will Smith embarrassing Jaden has got to be one of my all time favorite things

(via 221b-stark-tower)

(via ggio)

if i miss, it means i’m just another dude with a bow. it means i’ve been fooling myself this whole time.

(via captrogers)

hellyeahscarleteen:

Sometimes people have a hard time understanding what a happy relationship between two people who obvs think the other is awesome looks like.

We think this is one great (and holy bananas, so freaking hilarious) example.

(via heyysourwolf)